G.Leave
Cultivators Club
Agreed fairlynew....nothing worse than being holed up with murderers and rapists as a result of growing medicine!!
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Depression and Suicide
- Thread starter Dark Matter
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Agreed fairlynew....nothing worse than being holed up with murderers and rapists as a result of growing medicine!!
stepside
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Hey guys, I pretty much been absent for a few. My life took a turn... For the better though. I really want to say thank you to everybody here at AFN just for being here and making me feel like part of something. I was in a real dark place for a long time. I finally got my family back. My 16 yr old twins are finally seeing the light. I actually spent the entire weekend with the both of them. I hadn't seen them together in over five years. My 4 year old daughter didn't even know who they were. That was saddening.
I'm probably in over my head already. I want to be their father but right now I think they need a friend more. How do you undo a mental mindfuck that's been going on for 7 years?
My boys are going to be 17 in 2 months. They've been living with their mom and her piece of shit boyfriend being abused and neglected for at least the last 4 years. I want to fix it but I have no clue as to undoing the hurt that has already been done. If I broke it down for you all you'd think I was a bad parent for not having done anything about it. Legally I did everything I could, morally I did what I could, and lets say that's where this thread comes in.
I left my house heade for theirs with a loaded .40 cal and 2 clips I was going to remove the problem. I thought in the way that they didn't need to see that so I pulled over and put the gun in my mouth.... I then thought of everyone else in my life... My wife daughter and two other sons and man I just couldn't leave them like that. So I averted that crisis and started therapy but you guys saw that coming..
Anyways to make a long story not quite short. Any ideas how to be friends with your kids and still pull them from the abyss that they're in while actually being a parent.
I picked my kids up in Friday, half a mile down the road I smelled weed. When I got where I was going I opened the trunk and smelled it even more. When I asked the guilty party what he was thinking he lied and said he didn't have anything. We talked, he fessed up. But I didn't take it. Does that make me a parent... Yes... They've been allowed to and actually forced to procure weed for their mother and her man. How do you make a 16 year old realize that that just ain't normal without vilifying yourself. The whole thing is a complete clusterfuck of mass proportion.
I'm probably in over my head already. I want to be their father but right now I think they need a friend more. How do you undo a mental mindfuck that's been going on for 7 years?
My boys are going to be 17 in 2 months. They've been living with their mom and her piece of shit boyfriend being abused and neglected for at least the last 4 years. I want to fix it but I have no clue as to undoing the hurt that has already been done. If I broke it down for you all you'd think I was a bad parent for not having done anything about it. Legally I did everything I could, morally I did what I could, and lets say that's where this thread comes in.
I left my house heade for theirs with a loaded .40 cal and 2 clips I was going to remove the problem. I thought in the way that they didn't need to see that so I pulled over and put the gun in my mouth.... I then thought of everyone else in my life... My wife daughter and two other sons and man I just couldn't leave them like that. So I averted that crisis and started therapy but you guys saw that coming..
Anyways to make a long story not quite short. Any ideas how to be friends with your kids and still pull them from the abyss that they're in while actually being a parent.
I picked my kids up in Friday, half a mile down the road I smelled weed. When I got where I was going I opened the trunk and smelled it even more. When I asked the guilty party what he was thinking he lied and said he didn't have anything. We talked, he fessed up. But I didn't take it. Does that make me a parent... Yes... They've been allowed to and actually forced to procure weed for their mother and her man. How do you make a 16 year old realize that that just ain't normal without vilifying yourself. The whole thing is a complete clusterfuck of mass proportion.
Root
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WoW...So glad you are getting the chance to have a relationship with your sons! It is never too late!!
If you are open and honest with them about everything (not just the weed) they will eventually understand.
WE are here for you.
If you are open and honest with them about everything (not just the weed) they will eventually understand.
WE are here for you.
G.Leave
Cultivators Club
Good luck step...sounds like a very challenging situation you have to deal with man. I wish I had some solid advice for you but unfortunately I don't. In the past I have also been totally consumed by the darkness, and have had a loaded weapon pointing at my own head considering my next move, and like yourself didn't pull the trigger because of those around me. Know that your kids need you, especially if their situation is that negative. You always have friends here bud(even if they are new friends) that will be happy to lend an open ear and leave it out in the open. Feel free to pm me anytime if you have anything at all on your mind you need to release step.
MedGrower
That hydrodude again
I am glad you made that choise man. I have seen what it does for people when someone chooses that quick and dirty way out. My wifes brother did that to himself. I know he didn't mean to cause all that pain to everyone, break apart the rest of the family and cause all kinds of unbelivable pain and misery for everyone. I guess he just wasn't mentally in that kind of a place where he could have thought as clearly as you did. No one will ever overcome that kind of tragedy and most of them blame themselves for what happened, even if it wont make logical sense, it must be some part of human nature to do so. My own wife ended up trying to kill herself partly because of that too. If I wouldn't have trusted my intuition and left from my work to go to check out on her, she would have been most likely dead too. That is beside the point but illustrates the cascading effects of ones actions quite well. Lot of hurt and lot of burden. I refuse to be part of it and just soldier on.
I really couldn't feel right on giving any concrete advice for you when it comes to your sons, but for what I can gather about what you said, if I would be in that situation I think the best thing you could do for you and for your sons is to make yourself as easy to approach about things they might want to bring up and try to be a good friend for them. Mutual respect, showing that you really care and that you are being honest person can really get one really far.
If there has been that long time for not being in any contact, I understand that there is a lot of excitement and emotions in the air but it would be generally a lot more better for everyone that you would try to remain in control of the situation and rather take small steps in attempts to steer this sh**storm to better direction and that way avoid possible backlashes. Any too sudden action can be too overwhelming for your boys depending on what kind of situation they are in or what reality they have accepted as their "norm". I do have some experience of my own dealing with traumaticed people with a lot of emotional issues, broken childhoods, rape, abuse and all that stuff.
Try not to let your own emotions get the best of you. I know it is hard sometimes but by allowing yourself some mental distance to the whole thing you can see situations more clear and then can adapt and formulate better strategies.
I wish you a lot of patience, clear thoughts, cool heads and all the best! Hope this makes sense to you as it does to me and doesn't sound like I am just blabbering some pretty and all rounded words all around.
I honestly have nothing to say other than I'm praying for you guys I can't offer any advice here but I hope yall are able to find peace and calm through all this
Papa Munch
That old and easy feeling.
Hey SS. I'm sorry to hear of the crap you are having to deal with.
As far as advice, I think MedGrower said it pretty good. It is something that it will take LOTS of time to make things good. Just be there for them, listen to them and be honest with them. Let them know that they can trust you. You can be their friend but most importantly, be their Dad. You can only do so much as they also have to figure it out and make some moves towards a real relationship themselves. Good Luck Dude!!! If you ever need to vent......hit me up anytime!
As far as advice, I think MedGrower said it pretty good. It is something that it will take LOTS of time to make things good. Just be there for them, listen to them and be honest with them. Let them know that they can trust you. You can be their friend but most importantly, be their Dad. You can only do so much as they also have to figure it out and make some moves towards a real relationship themselves. Good Luck Dude!!! If you ever need to vent......hit me up anytime!
you should not ever keep a gun in your possession to end a problem and solve a problem think of what will happen to your children no father just a memory of a bad situation (shituation) that went really bad. A friend of mine did something like that he pulled the trigger on someone giving problems to his children. I think all that could have been detoured if he was around his children more so than often meaning being a parent and detouring his children from dumb fuck people right. All I can say is " Be a man" those famous words have detoured me from doing the unthinkable in my lifetime and still do and will always be the strongest bit of advise ever given to me. Take care friend
Afternoon folks, just catching up on some reading here.
Step, drop me a pm anytime you needs chat man, I'm in a similar situation too bro.
On a more positive note guys, I got turned away from my scan appointment on my Gaul bladder because they could tell u had milk and sugar in a coffee just by scanning for 2 mins. So now I'm lying flat out on my floor tummy down as its the only way I'm not sore.
Hope alls good folks!
Step, drop me a pm anytime you needs chat man, I'm in a similar situation too bro.
On a more positive note guys, I got turned away from my scan appointment on my Gaul bladder because they could tell u had milk and sugar in a coffee just by scanning for 2 mins. So now I'm lying flat out on my floor tummy down as its the only way I'm not sore.
Hope alls good folks!
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